My stay in Florida was a long(ish) one.  To date, I’ve spent 67 days in California, 42 in Florida, 18 in Texas, (been to Texas before) 17 in Arizona, (been to AZ lots of times) 14 in Nevada, (been to NV lots of times) 9 in Oregon and 7 in Washington (been to PNW many times before)  I’m currently at 18 states, and by the end of this year, that tally will be considerably higher.  42 is a lot of days in one state with so much to see, but I wanted to get the full flavor of Florida and with the vagaries of life taken into consideration, who knows when or if I’m able to be back.

I recently read a study regarding Americans and travel.  According to the study, fully 11% of Americans never leave the state they are born in, 54% have traveled to 10 or fewer states, 40% have never left the country, and more than half do not have a passport.  (Until recently, US residents did not need one to travel to Canada, Mexico or on many cruises)  32% of Americans say they do not currently own, (and do not remember ever purchasing) luggage.  My guess is that a really high percentage of those folks don’t really have a grasp of the Florida muggy concept.  (How hot is the plate?  I’m not really sure… let’s touch it!)

Meanwhile, I have the panhandle and central Florida checked off, and 10 full days in the Keys, with Miami and the Everglades featured prominently on the itinerary.  I found Florida fully muggy, and not a cute euphemism for non-magical people in a Harry Potter universe muggy either. (I know it’s muggle, gimme some room here)  More like, take a dip in a pool and not be able to tell where the 95-degree air ends and the 95-degree water begins, oppressive.  It. Was. Humid.  And yes, I’m fully aware this is the official “word” on Florida and a goodly number of people already have the memo.  But… there is a pretty big difference between hearing a thing and then being in that thing.  (How many people touch the hot plate the waitperson warns you about??  You don’t know till you know)

So, take your garden variety really, really oppressively humid and hot day, add ‘gators, crocs, panthers, bugs on bugs on bugs, (plus more bugs) more coastlines, lakes, rivers, and waterways than you can shake a stick at, people fishing from everywhere imaginable, including the most unlikely and potentially dangerous places, (more people fishing than I ever imagined possible) and endless boats, and that’s a little bit of what Florida feels like.

On the other hand, the Keys had a very different, relaxed and enjoyable vibe, the panhandle and central Florida – even Miami – not so much. Even other vacation destination coastal areas didn’t have that same feel.  I can see the permanent, Jimmy Buffet/Margaritaville like draw, like Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines in Running Scared.  You just want to quit everything, move down there and open a bar, get a boat and be on the water, or go full Travis McGee and live on a houseboat, take retirement in chunks and do “salvage” and “recovery” work to keep it going.  It wasn’t paradise, but it was paradise adjacent, and of all the places I’ve been so far, it’s the one I can most see revisiting on the regular.

Vagaries of life and 3500 miles be damned, the land of the conch will see me again.

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